Feed on
Posts
Comments

Tomorrow we embark on the longest journey in our Premier League schedule to visit the capital of Geordieland and the pinnacle of their ‘culture’. Interestingly, the name of this conurbation has mutated over two millennia to reach its present form: المخفر الرياضي الشمالي (almakhfir alriyadiu alshamaliu).

The site first appears in the historic record in 211AD as Pons Aelius at the north of the Roman legions’ bridge over the Tyne where they subsequently built a minor fort that played second fiddle to Corstopitum, a few miles east. 

After the Romans withdrew in 411, the site was again relegated from the historic record and presumably nothing of consequence occurred. It remained anonymous throughout the Anglo-Saxon era, even during the ‘Golden Age of Christian Northumbria’ and while at some point it was named ‘Munnaceaster’ (Monkchester) suggesting ecclesiastical activity, the venerable Bede made no reference to it.

Following the Norman conquest, the Northumbrians proved to be an awkward and belligerent bunch (quelle surprise?) and the Norman response was the merciless ‘harrowing of the north’, devastating the whole region so that it remained ‘poor and backward until the Industrial era’. In 1080, The son of William the Bastard built a wooden motte and bailey on the site of Monkchester which was subsequently replaced by a rectangular stone keep providing its new name, ‘New Castle’. This became England’s principal northern fortress in the centuries long border wars with the Scots.

Highlights of its subsequent history were the town declaring for Charles 1 in 1642 and them shutting their gates to the Old Pretender’s army in 1715 which is said to have earned residents of the town the moniker ‘Geordies’ after newly crowned George 1. Thus demonstrating that their leaders are as likely to make bad strategic decisions as good ones.

The football club was founded in 1892 from the amalgamation of Newcastle East End and Newcastle West End and joined the Football League in 1893 spending 92 seasons in the top flight since. As the only senior club in the city, it have become a cultural focus for the populace. United were most successful between 1904 and 1910 when they won an FA Cup and three of their four league titles. They have won five other FA Cups but have won no major domestic trophies since 1955 and were relegated from the Premier League in 2009 and 2016 returning promptly each time. After a brief period of flattering to deceive under John Hall and Kevin Keegan and then under Bobby Robson, they settled back into mediocrity and flirting with relegation.

After enduring the trials and tribulations of Mike Ashley’s ownership from 2007 to 2021 during which managerial quarrels, sackings, crowd dissatisfaction and austerity became the norm – a reprise of the ‘harrowing of the north’ – the Geordie nation wholeheartedly embraced the takeover of their club by a consortium dominated by Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund (PIF), hoping that their beloved ‘Mags’ would become a second dodgy, Middle Eastern sports-washing, petrodollar-fuelled, silverware magnet. This, despite Saudi Arabia’s notorious record on human rights, its authoritarian absolute monarchy and its clear aim of using that proud old club to sports-wash its appalling public image. A decision that matches their 1642 support of that believer in the ‘divine right of kings’, Charles 1.

Eddie Howe saved them from relegation in his first season after they had failed to win any of their first 14 games. The club then spent a fortune in 2022 bringing in Pope, Trippier, Botman, Burn, Targett (!), Guimarães and Isak while adding Gordon in January 2023 to build a strong team that qualified for the Champions League in fourth place in 2022-3 only to be eliminated in the group stage. The expectation that they would push on to reduce the Premier League to a two-way petro-dollar fuelled slugfest was palpable. They then added Barnes, Hall, Tonali, Minteh and Livramento in 2023.

However, the Premier League’s introduction of Profit and Sustainability Rules (PSR) primarily to prevent clubs getting into financial difficulties but with an eye on the alleged questionable financial activities of the other Middle Eastern outfit, which was then under investigation, have considerably constrained that ambition as inflated sponsorship deals, under-the-table salaries, disguised owner largesse and dodgy financial statements are now on the PL check list. This summer, their imminent breach of the debt limits due to that 2022-3 splurge forced the sale of two talented young prospects in Elliot Anderson for £35m to Forest and Yankuba Minteh for £30m to Brighton to prevent the sale of one of their ‘crown jewels’, Isak, Guimarães or Gordon. Due to this stricture no-one of any consequence was signed this summer. 

This recent constriction of transfer incomings has put a dampener on Geordie euphoria though adding bitterness against the Premier League and the so-called ‘Red Cartel’ (expect an even more vitriolic reception, lads) whilst adding support for C130y in their case against the Premier League and their defence of charges of financial malfeasance. The team’s performances to date suggest a similar dampening effect on the players who had no doubt been lured to the club with promises of national dominance, silverware and parity with the other Arab mob. There were rumours that Gordon might have defected to the Mugsmashers this summer but, in the end, he did not; meanwhile, Guimarães was flashing an ankle at PSG and Isak is said to be considering a move soon (Arsenal are allegedly in the frame) and the internet is awash with speculations on potential replacements for the latter. 

Meanwhile, reports have appeared that those who control PIF on behalf of the one true king have diverted resources towards other sports less likely to acquire opprobrium from the backwash of sewage that may result from the C130y case. After all, chaps, what’s the point of sports washing? It’s not to gather more negative press!

The club currently sits twelfth in the league after nine games with three wins, three draws and three defeats, nine goals scored and ten conceded. In four home games, they have beaten the Saints 1-0, the Marshdwellers 2-1, notably drew 1-1 with C130y and lost 0-1 to Brighton. In five away games, they have drawn 1-1 with Bournemouth, won 2-1 at Wolves, lost 1-3 at Fulham, drew 0-0 at Everton and lost 1-2 at Chelsea. Their goals have come from Barnes (3; 1 assist), Isak (2; 1 assist), Gordon (2), Schär (1) and Joelinton (1). I think we can expect a tight low-scoring contest!

Newcastle United are likely to line up in a 4-3-3 with the probable starting eleven of Pope, Livramento, Schär, Burn, Hall; Tonali, Guimaräes, Joelinton; Murphy, Isak, Barnes/Gordon. Botman, Lascelles, Wilson, Targett, Dubravka and Trippier are currently listed as injured.

Talking of injuries, it’s time to consider the Arsenal…

Without doubt our accumulation of defender injuries plus Saliba’s suspension (job done, Gillet?) contributed directly to our failure to take the three points off the Mugsmashers last weekend, which our first half performance fully merited. The midweek victory over Preston North End reassured us that Timber has 45 minutes in him but Gabriel and White did not recover sufficiently to travel. Kiwior’s performance in Gabriel’s place was reassuringly strong (not to mention two assists) while Zinchenko did manage an hour before being replaced by MLS.

In his pre-match presser MA8 suggested that the Friday training session would determine whether Gabriel would be available but he confirmed that White and Ødegaard won’t make the trip. The recent performances of Nwaneri and MLS should give us confidence that we have the manpower to ride out this storm. Therefore I expect a starting 11 akin to the following with the variance primarily dependent on how well Gabriel performs in today’s training session and tests and with my personal first choices in bold:

Raya

Partey/Timber Saliba Gabriel/Kiwior Timber/Kiwior/MLS

Nwaneri/Partey/Trossard Rice Merino

Saka Havertz Martinelli

Partey has been a revelation recently as an inverted right back so I think he will get first call for that position but we do have the option of playing Timber there if MA8 wants to stiffen the midfield with three strong giants rather than giving Nwaneri another platform to demonstrate his talent which he might see as too big a gamble. His final option in midfield would be to play Trossard alongside Rice and Merino, a role in which his interchange of field positions with Havertz has proved fruitful in the past. It must be nice to have so many options.

We have been playing well and that first half against The Mugsmashers was truly magnificent. Meanwhile it’s five matches since the hosts have won in the Premier League. That should give us the confidence that we can take all three points home from Wali Yacoub Park so I predict a fine 2-0 to the Arsenal, though not without a struggle. 

The Bookies also think we are favourites to take all three points and both Paddy Power and Bet365 offer an Arsenal win at 19/20. Betfair offer a more tempting punt at 13/5 for Arsenal to win without conceding. However the Holic Pound is still going to support Ukraine’s struggle.

As you watch the match from your comfortable perch, wherever in the world, have a thought for CER and 21CG who, after their midweek nocturnal journey home from their visit to Deepdale, face a 3.00am start to attend this game and must then climb the north face of the Eiger ((c) C100) to get to their seats before taking the interminable road home. Courage mes braves!

The final conundrum in this match is wondering which diabolical reinterpretation or non-application of the Laws of the Game the PGMOL muppet with the whistle or Jared Gillet (whom I believe to be the VAR official – again!) will employ to ensure that we fail to take the points?

Nonetheless, enjoy the game, Holics!

35 Drinks to “Scaling the North Face of the Eiger”

  1. 1
    North Bank Ned says:

    Stupendous read, Bath. Bravo.

  2. 2
    TTG says:

    After my truncated match report on Wednesday we are back to GHF business as usual with a top quality preview from Bath. Where else do you get historical background, social comment and an excellent match preview in one vert enjoyable to read package .
    I think the team Bath has suggested is very credible but I think Arteta is fairly conserva5ive and will play Trossard ( who has scarcely let us down) in the Odegaard role. Frankly , I’d love to see what Nwaneri can do in a game like Saturday’s but that may be from the bench .
    We were robbed there last year by a ridiculous goal . I hope we wreak revenge tomorrow and I believe we may do so in a tight 1-0 to the Arsenal. That would be a good start to the weekend . Good luck to CER and 21CG . Hope it’s a super trip

  3. 3
    Trev says:

    Super job, bath 🙏🏼👏🏻
    Gillett is indeed on VAR – as I read for the 4th time in 9 games. I’m no statistician but really, what are the chances ?
    Good luck to CER and 21CG – 3.00am !
    Smart scheduling by TNT 🙄

  4. 4
    BtM says:

    Superb preview and I’d take 0-2 in a heartbeat. I do hope Timber is fit and starts at LB. I’m not a fan of the Gigantic Three in MF so I’d start Trossard with Rice and Merino, fully intending to introduce the Nwaneri fireball around 70 minutes to add colour, flare and a couple of late screamers.

    I would be most grateful for the very rare beast that is a PGMOL incident-free 90 minutes. With the Saudi crowd’s ‘encouragement’, I’m pessimistic that this will occur.

  5. 5
    bt8 says:

    Nonetheless being the operative word at the end, very appropriately. A very comprehensive and enjoyable preview, Bath. Enjoyable all the waybthrough the mention of the officials, at least. COYG let’s do it in the names of CER and C100

  6. 6
    OsakaMatt says:

    Thanks Bath, an excellent preview. Would love to stick it to them severely but any win will do at the moment.

  7. 7
    Trev says:

    Are you going too C100 ? Good trip, if so 👍🏻

  8. 8
    Bathgooner says:

    Arsenal requiring their claimed 300k global members to re-register with a new password within 5 days! I’ll be astonished if their notoriously fickle server doesn’t crash. I can’t see how this enhances the security of their ticketing. Perhaps it portends the demise of the silver membership scheme as has been suggested by Gav on She Wore.

  9. 9
    Bathgooner says:

    Ah! I see they ask you simply to check your e-mail is correct BEFORE 6/11. Thereafter you’ll be asked to change your password when you log in after 6/11.

    What could possibly go wrong?

  10. 10
    OsakaMatt says:

    I must admit I haven’t been a fan of TP5 at RB and I worry about him there at Newcastle too but he has been doing well.

  11. 11
    Uplympian says:

    Thanks Bath for a superb preview. The Toon have their own injury worries so now will be a good time to get some revenge for last years stolen win by them. How strange that Gillett is officiating on VAR for the fourth time out of nine matches we have played so far this season – all perfectly legit of course. Any kind of win will do nicely, especially if it is via an unjust refereeing decision.
    COYRRR

  12. 12
    bt8 says:

    Re: Uply, An “unjust refereeing decision” in our favor?? Surely you jest. Has that ever happened?

  13. 13
    North Bank Ned says:

    That is some throw-in Tom Tonks of Tamworth has on him. First example is about 2 mins in these highlights of the FA Cup upset against Huddersfield.

  14. 14
    North Bank Ned says:

    Make that 44 seconds in.

  15. 15
    OsakaMatt says:

    That video brought back some bad orc memories

  16. 16
    Bathgooner says:

    It does indeed, Matt @15. Meanwhile your concern @10 its valid and, given the ‘codes’ propensity to attack on their left through either Gordon or Barnes, it may be prudent to have Timber at RB with Kiwior or MLS at LB and play Partey in midfield alongside Rice and Trossard. I now think that the latter’s symbiotic relationship with Havertz makes him a marginally preferential choice over Merino in this setting.

  17. 17
    Noosa Gooner says:

    Thanks Bath
    From King George to King Saudi – what a journey the barcodes have travelled but still classless despite it all.
    2-0 will suffice as payback for last year’s debacle.
    UTA.

  18. 18
    OsakaMatt says:

    Agree Bath.
    Fingers crossed for Gabriel now

  19. 19
    Trev says:

    Sounded yesterday as though Gabriel and Timber are fit – Calafiori and Ode are still out

  20. 20
    Countryman100 says:

    Trev @7. Because I’m a lightweight, I gave 12.30 at Newcastle the swerve. Been there the last three years but proud to see CER and 21CG flying the GHF flag this time. My next two away days are both in London, Chelsea and West Ham. Easy peasy in comparison.

  21. 21
    Bathgooner says:

    Raya
    Partey Saliba Gabriel Timber
    Rice Merino Trossard
    Saka Havertz Martinelli

  22. 22
    Gunnersaurus Stunt Double says:

    Epic stuff Baff. A really sublime effort. Well done.

    Any win today. We are against their team, their crowd and the referees.

    It should not be the case that our main concern as fans before a game like this is how the on-field an especially VAR officials are gonna find ways to unjustly penalise us.

  23. 23
    Countryman100 says:

    Carved open by an excellent goal. Newcastle making a series of little niggly fouls to break up our rythym – but no yellow cards.

  24. 24
    Countryman100 says:

    Trossard not having the best of halves

  25. 25
    Bathgooner says:

    Not our best 45. We haven’t controlled the midfield. Saka is really our only penetrative forward as Martinelli has hit a brick wall and Havertz is being squashed (literally) by two Hulk stunt doubles. The lack of a defence splitting pass to a runner is killing us. The nearest thing was Raya to Timber. We need to get a grip of the game and get Nwaneri onto the field.

  26. 26
    Countryman100 says:

    What a miss by Rice!

  27. 27
    North Bank Ned says:

    That was Howe 1 v 0 Arteta.

    Stuck at base camp.

  28. 28
    Countryman100 says:

    No complaints. Newcastle deserved winners.. No egregious refereeing errors.

    Huge two games coming up now in Inter and Chelsea.

  29. 29
    Bathgooner says:

    A very disappointing performance overall. We simply couldn’t find the key to open up their massed defence once they’d scored their well crafted goal. I’m afraid that this Arsenal team isn’t going to win the PL this season unless C130y and the Mugsmashers both have major meltdowns. Seems very unlikely. We’re back in the scrap for 3rd and 4th I fear.

  30. 30
    Gunnersaurus Stunt Double says:

    I just wanna put down a few immediate thoughts before I let this go and get on with having a good weekend.

    We started really well but for 80 minutes after they scored we didn’t play very well and didn’t create much at all. That’s on us, and we miss Odegaard a lot.

    Newcastle are the nastiest team we have faced this year. Guimares is a disgrace and he’s their captain. They all follow his lead. There was a challenge in the area by Gordon on Jesus with about 5 minutes left to play where he took some of ball and some of our forward. Jesus got straight up and carried on playing. That attitude was in such stark contrast to the cheating, snide diving and injury faking of Guimares, and I was very proud of Jesus.

    I counted at least 5 fouls from Joelinton, at least 3 of which were at least as bad as the challenges by Tonali and Merino which lead to yellow cards. For all that we were not at our best today, I have no idea how Joelinton did not get so much as a yellow card during the match, and if he had been properly sanctioned then it might well have been a different game.

    Rice’s set piece delivery was poor. We tried far too many back-post corners that just weren’t coming off. We needed to give ourselves chances from set pieces today, yet we were unable to trouble them. They are a big, physical side and, although we are too, our advantage in that area is less than against many opponents. Why no shirt corner routines to mix it up?

    Newcastle weren’t great. They scored from their only good chance.
    If they get plaudits because the result went their way, or Howe gets credit for a gameplay that relied on Joelinton fouling with impunity then I will consider them lucky to get such a good press.

    Rice missed our good chance in injury time. We needed him to score that. A 1-1 draw after a late goal would have felt like a much better result. This one certainly hurts more after the injustice of last season, and because the team we lost to are such an unlikeable shower.

    I’d happily have Isak play for us. Gordon too, although I can’t see it happening. The rest of that team can get in the sea. Where Joelinton can swing elbows at jellyfish and Guimares can call for a stretcher when some seaweed brushes against his leg. Although even in the middle of the Atlantic he couldn’t get any wetter.

    We need to lick our wounds and refocus ourselves. There is still a huge amount to play for. And we need Odegaard back.

    Victoria Concordia Crescit.

  31. 31
    Gunnersaurus Stunt Double says:

    I think you may be feeling the sting of this result in your assessment Baff.
    With fair refereeing, we’d have about 8 more points. Personally, I won’t be writing us off in the league any time soon. Everyone will drop points and everyone will have bad days. Liverpool’s new manager bubble will burst.
    City have injuries and potential sanctions. It won’t be plain sailing for anyone.

  32. 32
    Sancho Panza says:

    As the Scousers score twice in a minute I have to agree with Bath. We aren’t winning the league this season. Injuries and red cards aside too many players are off form right now. Trossard, Rice, Martinelli, Saliba are way below the levels they were reaching last season. We will improve at some point but we’ll be playing a massive catch up.

  33. 33
    Countryman100 says:

    So. Bournemouth beat City. No invincibles this season!

    Liverpool come from behind to beat Brighton.

    Advantage Liverpool.

  34. 34
    North Bank Ned says:

    This is probably a moment for a Faberesque reflection on not getting too carried away in any direction.

    Both the cross and the finish for their goal were top-drawer, but neither should have been allowed to happen. We were very effectively smothered in the first half by Howe’s set-up and tactics, so we never got going. Fair play to him on that. Arteta’s second-half adjustments, particularly moving Partey into midfield, improved things. Perhaps the Ghanaian should have started there, although, given our full-back fitness issues, it is understandable that he didn’t. However, Newcastle are difficult to break down when they have a lead to defend. They know all the tricks to break up a game; we couldn’t establish any rhythm until the final 10 minutes. I agree with Dino that we need new corner routines; the existing set has been twigged. Also, last season, Rice’s last-ditch header goes in, perhaps. Fine margins.

  35. 35
    Bathgooner says:

    >>>>>>>