After some Friday speculation that honesty left nobody in any doubt, Gabriel Magalhäes was passed fit to start in a side that showed two changes from the team that thrashed Sporting Lisbon 5-1 four days previously:
Raya
Timber, Saliba, Gabriel, Calafiori
Ødegaard, Jorginho, Rice
Saka, Havertz, Trossard
The first half hour saw the Gunners in total cruise control and two goals to the good almost inevitably from a Gabriel orchestrated and converted corner – his fourth of the season – and a beautifully crafted pass move and dink from Ødegaard that left Saka to slide the ball to Trossard who netted with a tap in from two yards.
If it had been a FIFA game you would have suspected that West Ham’s controller had broken, so totally uninvolved were they. The West Ham captain at this point actually asked the referee if they could have another ball. “Certainly not!” said Anthony Taylor, “you already have a perfectly good ball.” “I know,” said the West Ham captain, “but Arsenal are playing with that one!”
On all the 3s 33 mins Arsenal made it 3-0 – bingo! Saka was felled by Paqueta and Ødegaard took the spot kick in Saka’s place, putting it exactly where Saka placed his on Tuesday evening in Portugal.
On 35 minutes it was 4-0 and for the second year running the home fans took to the apples and pears and an impromptu East End fire drill was underway when Flappy Handski became Stretchy Groinski as Havertz slid the ball past his extended right foot following a brilliant through ball from Trossard, hit with fade from his sand wedge of a left foot.
Two minutes later Wan-Bissaka got one back for the Spammers after a sloppy Calafiori pass ceded possession and the full back ran on to the through ball to convert. It was actually a repeat of exactly the same situation twenty minutes earlier when Somerville’s chipped finish was chalked off for a clear offside.
On 39 minutes Emerson scored direct from a free kick in off the bar from 20 yards. Raya’s start position was curious – too far to his right for my liking – but it was a very accurate free kick.
West Ham did what West Ham do before half time – they got scrappy and physical, Timber was kicked, Saka rushed in to help his mate, Emerson kicked off a melee and he and Saka were both booked by Anthony Taylor.
Somerville hacked Saka down and earned himself a yellow card and his team the opportunity to defend another corner from the resulting free kick.
Flappy was booked for a left hook on Gabriel’s head that Oleksandr Usyk would have been proud of and Arsenal had their second penalty. Bukayo Saka stepped up to take it and became Arsenal’s fifth different scorer of the half. A little fortunate as Saka went to the keeper’s right this time who did get a touch on the ball but not enough to keep it out.
West Ham then got another dangerous free kick from nearly thirty yards which Raya tipped over the bar for the corner that brought a mad first half to a close.
Half Time
West Ham 2 – 5 Arsenal
Arsenal replaced Gabriel with Kiwior at the start of the second half – maybe he really was carrying an injury after all – and West Ham brought on Alvarez for Somerville who was a risk on a yellow card. Alvarez was potentially a risky replacement as he has already earned two red cards himself this season.
I scribbled four pages of notes during the second half but reading them here would be as tedious as it was to write them. West Ham managed to increase their share of possession through increased aggression and a succession of fouls they got away with, but they still only had the ball for 39% of the time and Arsenal continued to look the more likely side to score again. My notes became a catalogue of Arsenal players getting hurt, West Ham bringing on goodness knows how many substitutes, and “leaving one on” any Arsenal player they could get near enough to kick.
Zinchenko replaced Calafiori who retired with a fairly heavy strapping above his right knee and Wet Spam brought on Ings and Coufal who genuinely professes to be a professional footballer. It was on 72 minutes that Danny got his first shooting opportunity for the Irons but, sadly for him, Ings ain’t what he used to be and the ball ran safely out of play.
We saw the changing of the Øde-gaard when he and Bukayo Saka were replaced by Sterling and Jesus whose first involvement was to carelessly give the ball away. Kiwior tussled with Bowen before being clattered by Coufal, and the danger was thankfully cleared. West Ham replaced Paqueta and Soler with Rodriguez and Irving – if anybody cares – and a great first half had degenerated into a procession of fouls and substitutions which must have robbed West Ham of as much fluency in their play as Arsenal’s.
I was surprised to see Ethan Nwaneri sent on at 84 minutes as one might have expected Arteta to want to protect him from this kind of nightly, nasty stuff but the lad got ten more minutes to add to his tally. Irving cleaned out Jesus before he and Sterling worked a good shooting opportunity, and Ings still wasn’t what he used to be as he dragged a shot wide of an open goal after a defensive slip in added time. Soucek, to no-one’s surprise was carded for a foul from behind on Jorginho and Anthony Taylor put one and all out of their misery after five minutes of added time.
Full Time
West Ham 2 – 5 Arsenal
After a brilliant first half Arsenal did well to manage a scrappy, disjointed second half which was characterised by the nasty tactics of Soucek and Coufal, playing the East End’s ugly sisters as we head into panto season once more. The Arsenal move up to second in the table. We’ve scored 13 goals in the last 3 games while conceding 3 and are in contention on the two biggest fronts in European football. What a shame the limit of West Ham’s ambitions was to wreck the second half of a decent football match.
After the game Man of The Match, Bukayo Saka, on 15 goals and assists for the season, was his usual smiley, modest self and was all about the team, as ever.
Mikel Arteta was clearly frustrated at conceding twice but very proud of the ten goals in the last two games. He flatly refused to discuss our tactics at corners or what Gabriel might have said to Saka before he scored. All clear then!
This title challenge is still on.
Thanks Trev – excellent report.
I’m a bit torn as to the best result now between Pool and Citeh.
I think I’ll take a Citeh win.
UTA
Great stuff Trev, ings ain’t what he used to be alone was worth the tenner I paid on the door. Like MA I was a bit annoyed about the two goals but I will leave it to him to sort that out 😄
I think I’d prefer a draw today but any of the possible results is ok really.
I hadn’t realized that Loptegui was whining – “we were unlucky with the decisions today” about two of our goals. They were totally outplayed and it could have been worse for them.
Cheers Trev, lovely and typically pun-laden report.
Think i’m with Noosa there. Draw’s ok.
Either way, a few red cards and an unfortunate Salah injury wouldn’t go amiss.
Matt @ 4. Was he? Yeah they were rather lucky, I thought.
Great piece, Trev. You’ve nicely captured the contrast between the rabbit in headlights response of the Spammers to our wizardry in the first 35 minutes and their adoption after half-time of GBH to stop us hitting double figures in the second. Ron Greenwood will be turning in his grave at that display. That was once a football team.
Onward.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2024/nov/30/rules-have-to-be-same-for-all-lopetegui-hits-out-at-arsenals-set-piece-strategy
@4 Ollie, yeah I attached it but
basically it’s delusional nonsense
I see. Cheers Matt!
(And as it is, rules the same to all would have been a useful thing for us in a few matches, eh?)
Thanks Trev. You had a much better view of the game, and especially of our five goals than I did from row 63, block 200. The whole Arsenal travelling faithful had no idea that a penalty had been awarded for our fifth goal. We saw the corner and Taylor point vaguely towards the goal, but thought he had awarded a goal kick. Clearly someone had taken a knock but it was only when he got up that we saw Saka preparing to take a penalty. Everyone was baffled. I messaged CER to ask him why a penalty had been given. He replied, with the authority of a man with a degree in classics and the pithiness of Marcus Tullius Cicero “Flappy twatted Gabriel”. Mystery solved.
A constant source of amusement was the West Ham fans leaving, which began after 15 minutes and only 0-2 down. I mean I know it’s a decent walk to Stratford or Hackney Wick stations but this was ridiculous. It reminded me of Sheffield United away last year. We were in the closest block to the West Ham fans and one mouthy chap started offering our fans out as the game went on. We responded with “cry in a minute! He’s going to cry in a minute!” All good clean fun.
Thanks for your excellent report, Trev
Meanwhile, on the South American front the Cariocas appear to have deflated the Mineiros in an all-Brazilian final played in Argentina. Not even a late intervention by the aging Hulk was enough to prevent the onset of swivelling-hipped samba dances by the Botafogo supporters. I attended classses in Botafogo during the summer of 1985 so their wait will have been long but their celebrations quite energetic and thorough.
Link: https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/live/cx2lwvw74j2t
Thanks Trev for a very comprehensive report on our second thrashing of the Spammers this year. I once went through Stratford when we were playing them on a Monday evening. I noted we were 3-1 up and there were 15 minutes to go and was grateful that I’d not travel back with a carriage full of Spammers .When we pulled into Stratford there were thousands on the platform! Very few Spammers have ever been present for the final whistle of our game !
Great performance but it seems weird that in games where we are out of sight we can lose control . It happened on Tuesday and last night after an incredible first half display But we regained it well in both games .Wonderful performances by Saka, Odegaard , Gabriel and Jorginho but whisper it quietly – Calafiori makes too many mistakes defensively although I love watching him play . Now for a Spuds and Liverpool losing double !
It’s remarkable and worrying that a referee like Chris Kavanagh with all his deficiencies is deemed appropriate for a game the size of Liverpool v C115y . It underlines how unimpressive the current PGMOL crop are .
I see the Aussie Liverpool fan Jarrod Gillett is on VAR for us against United on Wednesday night.
Great report, Trev.
C100 @15 – do we know which Manchester born referee we have?
Gillett on VAR for the 5th time this season. How is this even possible ? Liverpool’s insurance policy.
CER @17
Sam Barrott. I know nothing about him
https://x.com/afcfixturenews/status/1863236740154093837?s=61&t=cVFjCyGkt4y-Ne45LtfqkQ
He’s a new referee, he comes from Leeds apparently. Who he supports is unknown to me
as PGMOL think there is no need for it to be public.
Thanks Trev for a terrific match report – your Ings joke superb, I suspect Lionel Bart is clapping from the Gods ( ironically it’s the East End club ).
If Taylor is one of our top referees no wonder the PGMOL is so woeful. I have no confidence standards will improve until that organisation is totally reformed.
The team is now in a rich vein of form – let’s hope this can be maintained without any major disruption due to injuries. We appear just about keeping eleven players fit enough for each match. With 7 matches to be played over the next 21 days or so it’s a big fingers crossed in this regard.
I do agree with TTG @ 13, Calafiori is a lovely player to watch but his concentration levels are not yet up to speed resulting in d@ngerous moments such as the spammer’s 1st goal yesterday evening. He needs to improve in this area as we c@nt afford to drop points whilst the scousers are seemingly unstoppable at the moment.
Onwards and upwards.
First of all, excellent report, Trev, up to your usual puntastic standards.
Second, the new GHF Predictathon leaderboard for Match Week 13 has been posted. You won’t believe how poorly everyone did this week! You know where to find it…
Late to the party. Very enjoyable report, Trev. Less enjoyable result from the Scousers v Cheaters game, I’d have preferred a draw. Still, all to play for.
A third of the season gone and the Goonerholics Ropey League managers are being led a merry dance by the one and only Lonestar, striding clear in both competitions👏👏👏
As some consolation for TTG for being kind enough to keep me out of the wooden spoon spot in the Predictathon, a very respectable third in the Fantasy League just behind Uplympain.
A long way to go……..
Nice article in the Grauniad about Tony Adams for those who haven’t seen it.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2024/dec/01/prison-didnt-touch-the-sides-tony-adams-on-addiction-losing-the-man-who-saved-him-and-helping-others
UTA
Thanks all – and for the various links posted – and to Ned for updating the Predictathon 🙏🏼
Out of the relegation zone!
*celebrates and thanks CER*
I trust the cheque is in the post, Ollie?!
We are at home to Manchester United in the third round of the FA Cup
I sent it by carrier pigeon, CER.
Timber is a useful player.
I have a Predictathon question for Ned and the Monks. How would someone who’s prediction is the previous season’s league standings, with the 3 promoted teams taking the last 3 spots (in order of finish in the Championship) have fared? Could you run the numbers for the 2023-24 Predictathon using the final league table for the 2022-23 season? Just wondering how such a “passive” prediction strategy would fare amongst all of the great footballing minds here.
I wondered when someone would ask that. I looked at a prediction like that last season, Potsticker, and it did very respectably, I think it comfortably beat The Crowd. Somehow, I’m not following the Predictathon with as much enthusiasm this season.
Spuds away to Tamworth in the FA Cup !
Does the son of Ronnie Radford play for Tamworth by any chance ? How funny would that be ……
I hear Tamworth are very disappointed in the draw. They were hoping for a big club.
And before we get caught up in there’d Mancs, here’s Mike McDonald’s view on the West Ham game.
Potsticker@31: Your Passive Predictor would have finished ninth in last season’s GHF Predictathon, three places below the Crowd, level on points with you, as it happens, but ahead on the tiebreakers.
Using your same formula, Passive Predictor would still be sitting in ninth place this season, five ahead of the Crowd, one below you and level on points with Scruz and bt8, but, again, ahead on the tiebreakers.
To forestall Pangloss’s next question, yes, I adjusted the Crowd’s predictions to take account of the extra player. As a result, he returns to being above average. I hope that will uncurb his enthusiasm.
C100@35: Thanks for the Mike McDonald link; a perceptive view from him, as usual. He makes a good point that Arteta has ended the team being a soft touch. It can not be bullied anymore, physically or mentally, and opposition sides know it.
Thanks Ned @36 – seems that I’m no better than the Passive Predictor, but no surprise in that. It was thrilling to reach the pinnacle of the Predictathon a few weeks ago but it’s been downhill ever since. Pangloss- has the thrill of victory worn off?
Hell, no.