TWTWTW
(for our younger readers ‘That Was The Week That Was’, just an old people TV program that you needn’t google)
Happy 3rd round FA Cup Day to all you Holics far and near!! This weekend sees us take on an utterly useless a recently resurgent Manchester side for a place in the 4th round of our favourite cup competition. No, no, not the cheaty ones, it’s the other ones with the leaky roof and even leakier defence. And that obelisk* that was nicked from in Greece.
As you may have noticed in the media it has not been the best week so far for The Arsenal with our unbeaten home record for the season gone after losing to an in-form Newcastle in the 1st leg of the Carabao Cup semi-final. Fair play to them, they were certainly better than in the dreary 0-0 of a while back. And congratulations to Norman, the 93-year-old Geordie father of a good mate, he hasn’t been in best of health recently but watching the team he’s supported for 85 years win cheered him up no end and that I could never begrudge. We’re only halfway mind, Norman! A 2-0 defeat was certainly not what we wanted, especially in a semi-final against the recently-coined Spuds of the North. However, a month is a long time in football and all is not lost, form is temporary and our class is permanent, and even clichés are sometimes true! Having said all that, if our home record had to go then the Carabao would have been my first option, no one really remembers if you do win it and it does not make for a successful season at the highest level. Just ask our opponents today if you doubt the accuracy of that sentiment – I had completely forgotten they won it in 2023 until I was doing a spot of research for this piece. It certainly wasn’t a stepping stone to anything for them, unless it was one of those trick ones, beloved of comedy movie directors, nothing underneath and the hapless Ten Hag actor plunges head first into a muddy pond. Anyway, enough of Hardaker’s tawdry folly for now and let us turn our minds to the World’s greatest cup competition. The one and only FA Cup.
The FA Cup
I have summarised the current state of affairs below for you in a handy table style format that cheerfully shows we are the winningest ever.
Most FA Cup Wins
The Arsenal – 14
All the other clubs – Less than 14
There have been a couple of changes to the format this year, the first being the decision last April to scrap all replays. This blog is home to many who remember the epic cup-ties of our youth, and although it has been coming slowly but surely for many years, there is still a certain reflective regret as we contemplate this replay-free new reality, I raise a glass to you all, here’s to us. The smaller clubs too are obviously displeased, though mainly for more commercial reasons in their case I suspect. However, in the wider battle between FIFA, UEFA and a reprobate cast of outstretched hands the FA Cup had about as much chance as the concerns about players health or the wishes of the match-day support. It would take a far longer article than this one to define just how wrong that is, and so I will move on to the second change. VAR will not be used at all in the 3rd and 4th rounds from this season but will be used for all matches from the 5th round onwards. In past years VAR has been used at Premier League club grounds from the 3rd round onwards but not at non-PL clubs – I honestly wonder who made such a decision and thought it fair and reasonable. Mr Dunderhead I suppose. Anyway, the new system is fairer all round and a welcome change.
Our XI
Back to The Arsenal, and as we take our first faltering steps on the long and windy road to No 15, what will Mikel Arteta decide is the best approach to this game? Well, his options of the youth-blooding variety are fairly limited I think, and so I expect a similar mix and match XI, with the possible exception of Neto being handed the gloves, for however long our cup run lasts, and just maybe a rare sighting of Raheem. But first, there was good news for Benjamin White this week (congratulations to you sir and don’t worry TMS isn’t a real thing) and good news for us too as his recovery appears to be going very well and his return could be sooner than expected. Not yet however, the end of January was the optimistic suggestion mooted in the wilder fringes of the national press. As Tomi and Bukayo are still out that would leave us with something like…………………
Neto
Timber Saliba Kiwior Calafiori
Partey Merino
Sterling Ødegaard Jesùs
Havertz
Sterling is something of a wild guess, I must admit, as he wasn’t even called upon off the bench in midweek. However, young Ethan Nwaneri is out and Gabi / Leo haven’t particularly convinced on the right. There are always other options of course, an obvious one is for Leo / Gabi to start in one of the wide roles and Jesùs to start up front. In other news, we have many, many options at LB – Zin and MLS played against Newcastle and KT / Calafiori were unused subs. I have plumped for Calafiori on the assumption he was being rested midweek and also because strategically we will want to flood the Man Utd area with as many CBs as possible – see photo atop this article and the league game in December for the reasons why – we could honestly have had four or five from corners that day. It has only been a month or so and I see no reason why we shouldn’t do it over and over again…… Perhaps Declan might start after all as he does deliver a mean corner on his day and you’ll certainly see no absurd twaddle from me about set piece goals. If they can’t defend properly then let’s punish them.
The Opposition
Many of us at GHF of a certain age know all about Manchester United, however it occurs to me a brief historical review may be necessary for the younger Gooners. Manure, as they are often known, were once upon a time, like Preston, a powerful football force in Lancashire. I know, I know, it seems fanciful but it’s true! Nowadays, as we all know, they are just the Mancunian equivalent of what we could loosely describe as Spuvertonian – in many ways a lowly fate, worse than a fate worse than death. Much like the Ottoman Empire of old they no longer have a seat at the table when the adults sit down to discuss the fate of the major trophies, their last two captains, known as the Thick Man of Europe and the D**k Man of Europe have been powerless to prevent their continuing fall from grace. And then…. in their desperation their support have latched on to a new saviour, the billionaire Jim Ratcliffe of Ineos fame. Sir Jim is apparently a very likeable fellow, if your tastes run to hypocritical, bullying, tax dodgers, and has promised to restore the fallen giant to it’s rightful position, Manure I think he means, not Preston. Regardless, Jim has set about putting things right by cutting costs and stiffing the less fortunate to ensure his maximum return on investment in that typical charmless billionaire way. To be fair, I think even the good folk of Surrey have started to smell a rat. I am inclined to be understanding of their initial gullibility as surely any sane person would be desperate to escape the ravenous maws of the parasitical Glazer brood. And yet just when the night was at it’s darkest a previously abject team suddenly grabbed a point at Anfield and hope has arisen anew that turning points have been reached etc, etc. I very much doubt they have turned a corner or even defended one competently, come to that, as it looks the same meh bunch as before to me. A point at Anfield sounds good until you note that in their next game Liverpool actually lost to the eternally out-of-form Spuds! As usual against this sort of mid-table shower I don’t much care how they line up and the headline to this piece pretty much describes how I expect the game to go.
Conclusions
We will win again, another 2-0 looks easily doable. It would be ironic to see Raheem and Jesus stick it to their old Manchester rivals but it’s the cup so any old how will do nicely! However, as I just said it is the cup after all and, every now and again the minnows do have their day, so who knows. Whatever way it goes, I would like to finish by stressing that for me, and much as I love the FA Cup, our season is not on the line here. We have bigger games to come in the next few weeks, our next three here at home for a start and my biggest wishes would be firstly a safe trip there and back for our Holic friends and secondly no more bloody injuries! Enjoy the game wherever you may be and come on you Guuners!
I should add the asterisk was meant to
thank CER for the obelisk
Excellent stuff Matt. Amusing and well- written, a very enjoyable read.
Although, quite why anyone would deny the existence of Test Match Special is beyond me.
Superb job, Matt ! A lovely read full of laughs – just how I like ‘em !
I will actually thank you again now – just to compensate for GSD’s compliments being directed to Bath who, while I’m sure did an excellent job of publishing, had not to my knowledge moved to Japan! (Now redirected, Ed.)
No need for me to expand footballistically on the preview but I’m sure everyone here would want to send very best wishes for the safety of all the American Gooners who might themselves be involved , or have loved ones who are, in the horrendous events still sadly unfolding in Calafornia.
Excellent read, OM. Had me chuckling all the way through.
And while your place in history is secure for coining ‘Predictathon’, ‘Spuvertonian’ is another splendid addition to the portmanteau lexicon.
OM
Another polymath GHF contributor- an excellent and amusing preview . Many thanks
It’s such a pity that what was a magical weekend in the calendar has been so diminished. No replays and penalties instead. It has diluted a wonderful competition- it’s the Carabao Cup with knobs on.
If our team can lay their ladies aside ( that sounds wrong but strangely exciting at the same time ) and focus on football we could win this but I’m strangely pessimistic. If both sides produce the performance they did last weekend we will go out . I’m not sure with their current squad without Saka and Nwaneri we can produce the magic we need although if they do play the keeper who played at Tottnumb in the Carabao we will create havoc from set pieces .
One word re Sterling . The default position on Raheem is that he’s been a flop. That must be based on training where he must be stinking the joint out because he has had precious few chances in the first team and virtually no starts . I’d like to see him play tomorrow and if he can recapture his best moments he will be a real asset .
I’m going to be optimistic and suggest that Neto will win it for us in the penalty shoot out after a 0-0 draw.
TTG – Raheem Sterling ? Another triumph of hope over experience. On the rare occasions he’s been sent on he’s barely even looked bothered. Hope we can send him back in January – maybe exchange him for something more useful like an extra cone for training drills.
Cheers Matt, entertaining preview!
I wasn’t sure if replays had been completely scrapped yet, so thanks for making it clear.
2-0 sounds good to me.
Lots of hearty chuckles there, Matt and your ‘easily doable 2-0 home win’ sounds extremely appealing (and much more so than TTG’s 0-0 at full time forecast with a win on penalties which won’t be good for my heart valves).
Through some masterful jiggery-pokery by Bath I’m looking forward to an extraordinarily rare Grandfather-Son-Grandson visit to the game tomorrow with a pre-match pizza at the usual favoured eatery. Great work that man for which many thanks!
We’re playing in white tomorrow I believe? I hope that doesn’t mean that Manure get to (dis)grace our emerald turf in red.
COYG. Enjoy wherever you’re watching, Holics.
Trev @6
I’m really not sure if that’s fair comment about Sterling . He’s appeared in six league games, but only started twice and while he hasn’t set the world on fire I don’t sense any lack of desire given that he’s a fairly quiet character . He’s actually played less than two complete league games and in a couple of the League Cup matches ( admittedly against weaker opposition) I thought he played well.
Clearly Arteta who has worked with him before doesn’t fancy him and that must come down to his efforts in training but I defy anyone to suggest he has failed in the Premier League because he hasn’t played enough.
I’d like him to start tomorrow simply because I’d like to see what he can do, his level of motivation ( if this move gives wrong for him his top-level career is effectively over ) and whether he can bring greater unpredictability to our attacking play than players like Martinelli and Trossard have been able to bring .
I would say that prior to him joining us I’ve never been a huge fan but his record of achievement for clubs like C130y and Liverpool , as well as England suggest that he might be worth trying in a team that is struggling to be penetrative
Thanks OM for your very enjoyable and humorous preview. Their last two odious captains, and a few others besides, have indeed not been able to put humpty dumpty together again, and long may it last, even as this Amorim fella serms a decent enough sort.
TTG@9: I was shocked that you did not take the opportunity to append “–unlike our TMS squad” to your final sentence.
A couple of points on Sterling: First, we wouldn’t have taken him on loan if Arteta hadn’t thought he would bring something to the team. When he has been given match minutes, he has underwhelmed. Perhaps that is what Arteta sees in training day in and day out. We don’t know. Recently, when he might have had a run of starts, he has been injured, so it is difficult to judge his success, if any.
Second, when discussing possible strikers we could buy or borrow, Sterling shows that Premier League experience is a necessary but not sufficient quality in a forward.
TTG – the fact that we haven’t seen Sterling on the pitch at a time when we’ve been suffering an injury and illness crisis seems to confirm your vies that Arteta must be unimpressed with what he sees every day in training. Which must confirm my view, somewhere along its spectrum, that he barely looks bothered. I can remember one run to the byline and cut back from all his minutes – and I don’t think I’ve missed any. We know that he has ability, so his continued absence can only really point to lack of application. Still, it’s all about opinions.
And Sterling may indeed have achieved at Liverpool and C130y but he’s had 2+? seasons at Chelsea and I can’t remember him doing anything of note in that period – apart from losing his England place.
Thank you for an excellent preview to a tricky cup tie, OM. I am happy with your team – in truth, we don’t have many sensible alternatives. I would be even happier with your 2-0 prediction. While I share TTG’s concerns about tomorrow, I believe that if we can add a finish or two to the form we displayed against the ‘Codes, we should beat this Manure team though we should also cut out the defensive errors. However I have been disappointed too many times over the past quarter of a century and more that good Arsenal sides have failed to do themselves justice against poor Manure teams. I hope that MA8 has worked his magic on that inferiority complex.
Thanks Gents, it was a pleasure to stick the boot in on this occasion, hopefully we will do the same on the pitch later, metaphorically at least.
@5,9 agree TTG, i wonder about Sterling and what he’s done in training……and yet when asked MA went out of his way to state Sterling was working hard and it was up to him, MA that is, to find more minutes for Sterling to play. If we are to play him then today seems to be the day. He isn’t that old but as you say his top level career is done if he can’t produce now.
@15 thanks Bath. We have struggled down the years against even fairly ropey ManUre teams it seems. But our record in the last 10 meetings is 7-2-1 I was happy to discover 😄
And MA is in fact the first Arsenal manager to win four in a row against them, hopefully five after today, so he has been doing something right.
Sterling, like any other player, needs game time to get sharp. And, like any other player, he needs time to gel with his new team mates. I hope he gets more of both and has an effective second half of the season.
I haven’t seen him in training and this idea that he’s been lazy in training is one I’ve heard plenty of as it has been picked up and repeated, but I can’t say if it’s right. Arteta makes judgements for many reasons. Loads of people said he didn’t like Martinelli or Saliba based on how he used them (or didn’t) and those opinions proved to be incorrect. It’s hard to say what’s going on behind the scenes and our inferences can easily be wrong.
I’m with TTG that I’d like to see him play tomorrow. Even a few goals and assists before the end of the season could be invaluable, so I’m really going to be giving him my full support for the one year that he wears our colours.
1-11 I agree with your team, Matt. As far as Sterling goes, if not now, then when? We have the Middlesex Marshdwellers on Wednesday. The league is far more important than the cup. Beating that bunch is paramount. We can do both by the judicious resting if a few midfield and forward players.
Off to dig out my Junior World Explorer ”Scott of the Antarctic” kit – sealskin outerwear, furry boots, cashmere codpiece etc- in order not to freeze those extremities best not frozen as its a little chilly here. Not 1963 or even 1978 chilly, but even so…
Thanks Matt – top job.
A lot not going quite right at the moment so any win will do although 3-0 would be nice and is doable if we score early.
UTA
At the end of the day, I’m thinking any 90min win with no injuries will be perfectly fine.
But yeah 6-0 would be better.😃
Matt @17, I had not realised that, under Mikel, we had won four in a row against that lot. That’s an excellent record and does suggest that he has expunged that old jinx. A virtual drink of your favourite poison sits on the virtual bar for you to join me in a toast to ‘five in a row’.
To be clear – if Sterling plays today I hope he, like every other Arsenal player, has a blinder, scores three, does it for the rest of the season and proves me wrong. Any player can only play to the best of their ability. As long as they make the maximum effort to do that I’m right behind them. I just haven’t seen that from Sterling so far.
Seconded, Trev @23!
🥃🥃 a couple of drinks for us Bath, as you say five would be excellent and I think
I will add an extra 🥃 for thé Tamworth players who are amusingly holding the
Spuds to 0-0 at half time
But no drinking at half time lads, even if it is only the spuds.